Friendship is a whore. It takes too much.

Going to sleep. I feel sick.
I'm sick of people.
I'm so glad none of my real friends read this shit.
They'd be so lost by now.
Can't wait for tomorrow. Can't wait for a turkey and bacon sammich.
Can't wait for FCAT to be done.
Can't wait for my parents to shut up.
Can't wait for David and Keith and Cara and Avalon and all of my friends at school.
They're the only people that I can talk to without freaking out.

I feel so untouched and I want you so much.

i've seen love and it comes in a form of beauty only a girl named Kady could ever possibly possess.

I'm pulled in every which direction.

Head.
Inside: i've seen love and it comes in a form of beauty only a girl named Kady could ever possibly possess.
Outside: New hair cut because I was getting bored with the old one.

Heart.
Inside: Pain. I can't believe how stupid I am.

Body.
Inside: Overwhelming emotions. I don't know. It's so weird. I hate this state of limbo.
Outiside: scars. smears of ink. Reminders of how paradoxical I am. I hate it.

Home.
Inside: A hopeless teenager sitting next to a flat diet coke, waiting for a text message or a phone call.
Outside: Endless possibilities that I hope to pursue.

I cannot wait for the weekend.

Chemically charged.

Bio and History Notes.
Bio review.
Sources for English.
It's going to be a BUSY Sunday.

P.S-
I feel more deaf than normal in my left ear lately. I blame Ryan.
For all of the late-night phone calls. XD

I feel like I'm on fire, and my tears are gasoline.

I need to clean my room. So that is what I am going to start doing.
I need to get rid of a lot of stuff. I need to do a lot of homework.
Mostly, I need to say goodbye.

I don't want to be the new kid. Not now, not anymore.
Tyler gave me a ride, and it reminded me of what I'm going to miss.
There won't be any De-pot the House, Jeffree Star X-Rays, Lesbots,
Banana Rivers, or Random Black Guy in the BG Jacking off.
Not in Navarre or Mary-Esther, anyways.

I'm missing a book. I'm missing my mind.
I should go now. Before I go insane.

(1:33:19 AM):It's up to you.
(1:33:26 AM):I want it to be up to you.
(1:33:34 AM):I don't know what you want.
(1:33:41 AM):So it can't be up to me.
(1:33:47 AM):But you know what you want
(1:33:48 AM):You know exactly what I want.
(1:33:50 AM):which is what I want
(1:33:57 AM):so then what do you want, Shane?
(1:34:03 AM):You.
(1:34:13 AM):Then that's what you can have.

none of this matters anymore because i've seen love and it comes in a form of beauty only a girl named Kady could ever possibly possess.

Dear God:
Please let me have one thing in my life that doesn't fail.
And please, god, let that thing be our love.
i've seen love and it comes in a form of beauty only a girl named Kady could ever possibly possess.