eighteen. eighteen.

APWH exam is on Thursday.
Unbirthday is on Saturday.
Exams on the 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, and 29th.
Then I pack and go to Navarre.
I have an eerie feeling about that place.
And it makes me think that David was a little problem compared to what's coming.
Which means that there is going to be hell if my premonitions are right.
Which they almost ALWAYS are.
Anyways, I have a change over time essay to work on. Bleh.

two.three.

I do not love people any more.
Because people are the most god damn selfish animal in the world.
We've all got so many things to fucking live for.
We were brought into this world for a reason.
Maybe not all of us were wanted, and maybe not all of us are treated like fucking royalty.
I know that I have hated my life for so long, but I've realized something.
YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT IF YOU THINK DYING IS THE ONLY ANSWER TO LIVING AN UNSATISFACTORY LIFE.
Because if you're not happy with your life or who you are, or what you've made yourself...
TOO DAMN BAD, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THE SHIT YOU DID TO MAKE YOURSELF THAT WAY.
Whine whine whine.
My brother is sitting on a fucking island where he doesn't control his life.
He breathes when he's told to. He eats when he's told to. He fucking showers and gets ready for the morning in ten minutes.
On a good day.
And yet, all of us teenagers and "adults"(that fucking 18-24 age range) sit around and complain about the same material shit day in and day out.
Your life is so hard, isn't it? It's just so god damn fucking hard, and we all know you can't handle it.
So let's treat you like you're a fucking baby again, yeah?


By the way. I'm fucking DONE.
Unless your name is Kady, last name is Newman, or are one of the few kids that know what is special about May 16th; get the fuck out of my life.
I don't need to worry about you.

twenty nine.

I'm that star up in the sky. I'm that mountain peak up high.
Hey, I made it. I'm the world's greatest.

I am tired, and I am wondering how I am sleeping tonight.
There is stuff all over my bed.
Tomorrow I am going to print out my invitations to my birthday party.
And I might take somebody to dinner or the movies.
Or a few boys swimming.
Or I might be stuck home by myself packing things.
I'm saving my homework for god knows when.

Senior send off was today. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.
The Back Street Boys and N*SYNC part was best by far.

Got sick from food. Wish I were dead/asleep.
Kyle forgot his yearbook. Oh well.

thirty.

It has been a while since I have been on here.
It's been a while since I have been anywhere except space.
I don't know what I've been doing, honestly.
I have David, Paul, Jose and Ryan over all weekend minus Friday.
That was a mistake, of course.
I am torn in two pieces again.

I talked to Kady the other night. It was brief, but enough to keep me alive.
I am ready for the summer.
I want to get out of here so fast.
I don't want ot have to deal with boys any longer.
Especially boys named David.

I thought about living off of vitamin water and power bars for a while. I might do that, honestly.
Even though it will upset a certain boy and a certain girl.
And neither name starts with a D.

four. seven.

Kady's birthday is tomorrow. I love her.
I found the rings I'm giving her.
God I feel so weird.
I'm fifteen and I can barely drive,
but I'm technically engaged.
People find it strange. Both cause it's a girl and because I'm young.
Oh well. They can roll over and die.

I am really tired.
Working on some late homework then passing out.

Fifty-four and we're rolling downhill.

He didn't come over.
She called.
I am so tired.
I am watching Parent Trap and FINALLY the dish stopped cutting out.
I love this movie so much.
It's such a shame about the woman in it who died during the ski accident.
That is probably why they are playing it.

I am thinking about working on my story.
I have a week to myself with only a few things to do.
On Thursday I am going to Choctawhatchee [Chawk-taw-hatchy] and Navarre.
The two schools that I have to choose between.

Anyways I'm going to lay back down now.
Writing seems like a better idea by the minute.
The television keeps cutting out.

Fifty five.

It is scary that time is going by so fast.
This weekend was fun.
I spent time with my friends in the neighborhood on Friday.


Then Saturday I drove up to Sonic to meet some friends.
Yes, I actually was the one driving.
And no, I didn't crash and die.
We ran across the high way and went to Wal Mart.
then we went to Josh's.

Today I went and looked at the new house and got drapes.
They're lime green. :]
I'm currently talking to Alys, typing this shit, and looking for stuff to put in my new room.