if you haven't realized,

I have a new blog. It is http://twopartpersonality.blogspot.com/
I abandoned this one for a sincere reason.
I just don't know what it is yet.

Something I have been struggling with for a while now.

I hate not knowing what is going on in third world countries in the Middle East where we are sending millions of people to fight and most commonly end up dying. What is worse is that my brother is in training to follow in the footsteps of all of these guys. They're still sending troops out to Afghanistan. A lot of those troops are Marines, and a lot of them are getting killed. My brother gets out of training in about two and a half months, and school will take about a year after that if not more to complete. I am hoping by then that this war is over, because I do not want my brother to come home in pieces after being deployed to some war frenzied country. What I can't understand most, though, is why the fuck anybody would want to die for a whole bunch of ungrateful people.

two weeks and some change

It still feels so weird being here.
I haven't really done much, and I still have a lot of stuff to unpack.
I'm just afraid that if I take this on in an assertive manner, I will become homesick for Pensacola.
My grandmother and her boyfriend visited this week for a few days.
It felt kind of weird almost. I don't know.
Right now my head hurts a bit and I need to brush my teeth.
I want to see My Sister's Keeper but my mom informed me that AT&T might be sending people out here to fix our phones.
Oh joy, right?

when you were mine

I can't stop listening to tegan & sara.
So read my lyrics

I'm walking past the factories with my arms stretched out wide
If this were my oasis you'd walk along side me all day
then we'd run past the houses they're building in place
of all of the memories we have yet to create

We can drift through the ocean with the tides dragging us
and we'll get lost for hours beneath the sun in the sea
we'll watch it go down and the sky fade to gray
I'll tether you to my heart like a boat to a dock
and you'll never be more than a few feet away

I know I might sound hopeless
but I can't keep from wondering
what it could feel like
to fill the empty space by your side

So we'll walk through the allys and we'll stroll down the sidewalk
sI'll be held on earth with your arms wrapped around me
and I'll never feel more free than I do beside you
and as the shadows begin to fill me with fear
I will smile up towards you at the words that you whisper
in hopes that you will become my savior tonight

The stars start to blend into the shadows of the sun
and all the clocks in the city strike half past the hour
it's gotten late and my heart's gotten cold
but your voice helps to make me not feel so alone
It may only be an hour til you decide to go home
but promise me this won't be the last time I see you around

I know I might sound hopeless
but I can't keep from wondering
what it could feel like
to fill the empty space by your side

There isn't much to say, so I'll sum everything up in this unfinished song

When I heard your voice for the first time
I swear I started to lose my mind
and it killed me inside when you left me behind
because I was so afraid
I thought I would never see you again

So please just stay with me
hold me by your side and promise me
you will always stay right here
because when you are around I feel so weak
I start stumbling, rambling
tripping on every sentence that I speak
but I don't think I'll ever
want to feel anything other than this

One more day in this one horse town.

I am going to miss the ball park.
I am going to miss the parades.
I am going to miss the music stores.
I am going to miss the walks down town.
I am going to miss Gina.
I am going to miss my mother's friends.
I am going to miss everybody and everything about this place.
Well, almost everybody.
I'm not going to miss him.

I SAID NO, YOU FUCKING BASTARD.
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.