Something beside the point.

I thought back to all of the times I've been fooled
by all of the people I was supposed to trust most in life.
I thought back to when I read his blog on el-jay.
How he's not here any more, and the last thing he said to me
was that I was worse than his mum.
I wish I could start over back from then.
I would listen to his problems.
I wouldn't talk about mine.
I'd tell Kady I love her more than I did.
I'd be honest with her about everything.
I wouldn't need new, "better" friends.
I wouldn't need a boy toy.
Because that is all that he is.
And god, I hate it so much sometimes.

I wish I could just become a nun until I have this all figured out.