Saturday, February 21, 2009

I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, pretending the echoes belong to someone; someone I used to know.

When I was younger, my oldest brother was really distant.
I don't really have any memories of him.
Everybody has these amasing memories of hyperactive Richard,
but I have absolutely no memories of him from when I was younger.
I just remember hitting him with a baseball bat, and fighting with him and Kevin.

Kevin and I used to be best friends.
When I was three, I told him I wanted to marry him
because he was my best friend and my favorite brother.
I regret playing favorites, but sometimes...
I feel like he's my only brother, because Richard doesn't exist to me as a brother.
At least not from when we were younger.

When I was four turning five, we lived in New Orleans.
I went to a private pre-kindergarten(yeah, that's why I'm so smart)
so I really didn't know many people.
Plus, New Orleans isn't like Pensacola-- you can't run around with kids.
I had two friends in my neighborhood, Destiny and Jaqueline.
Plus Kevin, and Frankie (Jaqueline's older brother)
On my fifth birthday, we went to Discovery Zone, and then got popeyes.
I have a picture of that day, but I don't remember much of it.

I just remember that Kevin and I used to have a bunch of jokes between us.
Franklin and Jackie. Turkish Delight.
Now, I feel like Kevin is fading, too.
If I knew how to paint, I would fill him in.
It would be like a color-by-numbers.
No matter what, though, the colors wouldn't be right.
Kevin is too unique. He's not like me, all overrated and trite.
Like a romance novel or an overplayed top 100 song.

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